Sometimes, I’m afraid of tomorrow

Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

I did many things for the past year that my younger self would have never been able to do:

I joined a Special Effects school in Paris which was a gigantic step for me, and also took the train for the first time in my life during this time!

I also stoppped this same school 6 months later, in February 2018, because it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.

In December 2017, I booked by myself and for myself a trip to Taipei, Taiwan which was something that my brain wasn’t able to realize or think about since it was just impossible for me to do that.

And I did this trip in May 2018, which was the best experience of my entire life hands down.

In February 2018, I also decided to go to Sinagpore for 6 months and then follow-up with Seoul, South Korea for another 3 months in order to study languages, travel and go out of my comfort zone.

This new experience is going to start in 3 weeks.

And is the reason of this article.

Since I was born, I never really lived somewhere else than here, in my hometown Reims, France.

I’ve been traveling with my family in many countries but only for holidays which wasn’t lasting more than 2 weeks.

And the most recent achievement I did was the 2 weeks trip to Taipei alone.

But beside that nothing I have never spent so much time outside of my bedroom!

During the last weeks I’ve been thinking and thinking about how this new adventure would turns out, how it would evolve and how I would live and react to things there!

I thought about quitting several times.

It was a very difficult debate that happened in my head.

But still, I will go and do all of this at 100%.

Sometimes, I am afraid of tomorrow.

Not really of tomorrow but more of the near future.

During the past 2 years I decided to always do the craziest things. I don’t simply go from 0 to 1, I go from 0 to 100 at once. Which involves so much more feelings, thoughts, and fears!

To give you an idea, it’s like learning how to swim:

Instead of taking all my time, going step by step and improving overtime, I just jump in the deepest swimming pool and figure out how to do things.

I take more risks but can earn more in return.

This is what I’ve been doing with my life so far.

It’s totally crazy (at least for me!) and incredible! A ton of things happened in my life that I could have never experienced ever if I was simply following the common path like I used to do before.

But I succeed most of the time to deal with it.

This is a skill that I’ve been mastering since I’ve started doing these crazy things.

Will Smith talked about it once. He was talking about him jumping out of an airplane in parachute.

He said that he was really scared of doing it, couldn’t sleep well the night before and thought about a lot of terrible things that might happen.

But once he jumped out of the airplane, he said that it was one of the most incredible experience of his life.

We always overthink and overfear things that are new for us.

And what I’ve been mastering is this skill of ignoring the fear, dealing with it so that I don’t feel it.

I say most of the time because there are times where I need a day or two before ignoring the fear.

But 90% of the time, I ignore the fear. I don’t feel it.

I talked about it earlier, but for the Special Effects school in Paris I had to pass an exam in order to be selected at the school.

Form my city to Paris, I was overthinking and overfearing this exam and all the new things that were going on around me that I couldn’t eat anything and my stomach was destroyed for the rest of the day.

Because I was ignoring the fear.

It’s not easy but it’s possible.

Now, everytime I feel the fear or overthink, I just shut my brain and the negative thoughts that are coming through my brain. And I jump in the fire.

Conclusion

We have the total control over our emotions and thoughts, we all have to possibility to shut down our fears and thoughts that never help us to achieve anything big.

We are all afraid, and it’s totally fine.

But being afraid of everything around us will never guide toward a better future.

You have to fight your fears and jump in the fire, in order to realize that it wasn’t that scary.

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